Just me being me

Before I wrap up the night . . . . .

2008-10-30T21:57:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd. . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . Hit a strike™!

AHHHHH horseshit!

2008-10-30T21:02:00.000-07:00

So anyway the 26th came and went. The cycle started over. I am here on my laptop. At this very moment Iam talking to my mom on the phone. ( Well was on the phone with her) Ah, she is crazy. I really mean it. I love her so much though. I wouldn't change her for shit. ( I just love how that sounds.lol) She loud, loving, generous, giving, loud again, caring, prideful, very prideful, and a whole lot more. She has a very rough around the edges character. but can be nice,polite, etc. She starts of that way, then works her way comfortably. Once she knows you she real cool. But then again, once she knows your she can be, well, a bitch. (I say it in the most loving way. How you can say that loving is beyond me but that's how I am saying it.) I love her for that. She stays true to her heart, and many times that can be a downfall. But you have to love her. I know I do.

My mom was a single mom for awhile. Battled what I call the "woman's cancer". You know that kind down there. I seen her shed the due. Loose the pounds. I seen her on her, well, death bed. The Dr. gave her six months. She still here (Thank you God!)

She has really overcame the most. What seemed to be all odds against her, were triumphs of life. My hat goes off to her. a VERY strong, noble woman she is. I love her dearly. I'm her baby. After the cancer she could no longer conceive. I wish she could because she wishes she could. I also would like to see what my step dad has to offer. Could be produce a better kid than me? Ha hA Ha. Im so just kidding. I'm sure he can't. Ha ha. jaykay.

No but, I love that man, just as much as Judy. I mean picking up some other mans luggage is no joke. Great man.

Anyhow. My mom is crazy. It is 9 pm and she is calling me to see if I wanted to go over and carve pumpkins and eat pizza with my brother, sis n law, and the boys (my to very cute nephews) . I'm like, mom are you serious, I live like 9.5 miles away, it's 9pm, I went in today an hour early, and got out at 7:15pm (only because our system goes down at 7pm). Hell na homegurl I aint cuttin mah herr!

I told her.

Told you they were cute!!!

wrap it up

2008-10-21T19:27:00.001-07:00

So will this week ever end? Seriously. I cannot wait till the 26th. The 26th is such a big day. My cousin is also having her Babyshower on the 26th, but something even bigger. . . my new cycle of Data usage starts over.

I only get 5GB (don't ask what that means, I don't know either) a month. and yes, I'm nearing that. Last I checked yesterday I had 4509 KB used. Add a little youtube, a few downloads, crazy blogging (a whole one post), a shitload of wikipedia, and other "misc." stuff, I'm pretty much there.

So I am currently visiting you from my phone. Gotta love that sidekick. I really do like T-mobile. They have great customer sercive. I always feel like I've accomplished something when I'm finished talking to them. Even when I owe them $157.12 to be exact. You know its funny, they called me the other day and was like,
TM: hi mr robles, this is mr robles I'm speaking with, right!
Me: uhhm yes, yes this is him.
TM:this is kadeejah with tmobile can yopu pleasee verify your password, . . . We are calling you because, by the way this call is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes (long story short) we need to get our money.
Me: yea about that, I've been meaning to pay that. You know, "the economy!" Rent. You know, the car.
Kadeejah: uh uh, you owe $157.12, how would you like to pay that. By check or credit car.
Me: but see that's why I'm calling you
Kadeejah: we're calling you
Me: yea well I meant to call you.
Kadeejah: well we need to get a payment in order to keep the account active.
Me: Well to be honest with you kadeejah, I wasn't able to pay last time because I had gotten tickets to the alicia keys concert last month. And I don't get paid until Thursay.
Kadeejah: oh you went to Alicia's concert. You know we grew up together. Well her grandma and my grandma went to church together, so pretty much we're cousins. So how was it.

(So dialog goes on between us about Alicia. And how much I love her. That's another post.)

kadeejah: so here's what I'll do for you. I'll make note that you will be making a payment on Thursday and this will ensure the account active with no interruptions of service for nonpayment. Okay.

See what I mean, I hit a strike™ with Kadeejah. I knew she would break. But yea I love tmobile.

I called verizon yesterday to see if they can maybe give me some bonus KB's seeing as to how I was pretty much all used up (no pun intended). Steve just laughed and asked if I was joking. Its like he was thinking who does that. I mean seriously shouldn't they have some in stock like them bonus minutes. Ahh!!! I hate verizon. I pay way entirely too much for such crappy service. I wouldn't be going through this with Tmobile. Yea verizon has a bigger network, they run off 3G (which means nothing to me). But atleast tmobile would make me feel better about missing out. I didn't get my bonus KB's. Steve assured me that that will make it to tbhe suggestion box in the break room.

I can't post this funny pic cause I don't have all that jazz from the sidekick. But it'll be up soon.

Anyhow I can't wait till the 26th!!!

Thought of the Day(s)

2008-10-20T22:16:00.000-07:00

Well so much to be said. I swear I had an epiphany just like recently. . . . . like 10 minutes ago recently. I don't know the boundaries of this blog (not there should be any) but the kind of boundaries that are at the bowling alley ( safety the rails). They give direction, and get you going to the goal. Or the strike, however your following along. Well now I'm here. Thinking that I want to blog a lot more. I'm not sure like everyday blog more, just more. Maybe put up pictures up of randomness that goes on here in Phoenix. As usually the kind that fill up my 4GB memory card. (Thanks douche). But unlike a certain someone else professes that he will upload pics that will spark interest. Go ahead and see what I'm talking about. Trust me, it's nothing to be clicking heels over. http://hedgehogs.fetchmyflyingmonkeys.com/

Well the whole reason that sudden interest sparked to blog more was douche's blog. You know he is a really good friend of mine. Nothing that I would say out loud though. LOL. jaykay. Kind of like the mentor type. I mean the guys like pushing 81. No but in all seriousness, he is a dear friend. Point conveyed! . . . . He's an avid blogger. He even includes it on his resume. A lot of it is fiction (I know) well not so much as fiction, but more like tall tales. Everything is always "his side", he says, "My blog, my rules!" Well all I have to say is,"My blog my rulez!!!" Anyhow, I'm very literal. Pay very close attention to detail. To consistency and cohesiveness. And I find a lot of violations in hedgehogs.

One in particular is hedgehogs' post today. He goes on to stretch that he texted everyone and no responded except someone sent a pic message. Well to my knowledge, I was at the local swap mart and happen to come across a souvenir that screams, "The memoirs of Rick". I made note of the item and picture messaged it to him. Citing that he was being thought of . Then he texted everyone. I know a good friend.

This so means nothing. I haven't hit a strike (making reference to my bowling analogy earlier) That's it! My nitch! " Hit a strike" HA. Hit a strike™! The nerve. I may not be attempting get closer to a plan of world domination. I mean c'mon that's silly. Everyone knows half the world isn't even worth having. To troublesome. Why bother. But now you see every time your hit a strike™ you get closer to your goal. Maybe your goal is to "take over the world" but by hitting a strike™, your closer in getting there.

So yeah. Unlike refrigerator picture day. You can delight yourself in a bunch of randomness. Though I would like to see What's in your spice rack picture day. LOL. I'm so just kidding, I will be definitely stay tuned to any picture day. Gives ideas. That and I'll be sure to walk looking to my left (my right side is my good side.)

Hey thought you might need this! ! ! ha ha ha ha

Just here. . . . again

2008-10-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

So I'm here again. The place that seems to be the only place I ever think to blog at. Yup, the laundry mat. It's not the usual one. Though it is a franchise of the one that I go to. "CoinLess laundry. . . . (with free wi-fi)" ha ha. Nothing else better than waiting for the good ol' threads to finish up doing what they are doing. Well it seems to be that I only have but 7 minutes for me to indulge on this moment. I'm the most chill. I know that I have said prior. I really coming to the laundy mat. Talking about convience, here it is. I love getting everything done at once. Especially because I hate doing laundry. But oh well, gotta get it done.

So anyhow, it is the weekend, or weekbegin, however you see it. Go back to work tomorrow, back to the cycle, routine, endlessness that seems brought on by work. I dread it. I almost want to call in, but I can't even do that. It'll only hurt me in the long run. Not even the long run. I'll fell it the next day I go in. The work will only pile. Then I will really be in some shit. Anyhow. It'd okay shit has to get done anyhow.

So the close seem to be nearly done. Gonna go and check on them. Get the folding so that I can get home and enjoy these last few hours of. . . . Weekend.

Pet Peeves

2008-07-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

You know what really annoys the shit out of me. . . . . . bad customer service. I mean really it bugs the crazy horse shit out of me. I'm sure everyone hates it. I mean who really enjoys receiving a service from someone that brought their " I should have stayed at home today" face to work. Ugh. I get livid. Especially because I deal with customer service day in day out. Internal external. Damn what I have to say to you if you give bad customer service. . . . . . Watch will&grace, you feel better about others and your self. . . . . .
You know, I was watching the National Geogrphic channel yesterday ( or was it disc chnnl or the history chnnl? I don't know, does it really matter?) Anyhow, I was watching a documentary titled, " Earth Biology" and it'd themed topic. Well, It goes on to explain the wonder and life of earth. How is a great planet. All the components are just right to make it possible to breath, live, etc. Well the closing ended on such a note that was just so impactful for me. >>>>> You know how there is a biggo' trend and all. Green advocators are all on this spasm about going green to save the Earth. Yada yada yada. Well the narrator ends saying, " You don't need to go green to save the Earth. Earth will survive, Earth was made to triumph. Go green to save yourself!"- Well if you had seen the documentary, you'd understand. But think about it........ Add that one to the list.

Just here

2008-07-16T18:34:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't mentioned absolutely anything about what's really going on. Well I here I go. lol. Really not much has gone on. Well I lie, So many things are new. I mean I really cannot sum up everything but a lot has gone on. At the current moment work life is going good. I'm in a new position, which I love. I feel I was meant for it. As though it was created for me to fill its shoes. Though I am loving it and learning so much, I get somewhat saddened that I'll only be there shortly. I strive to continue my success. To prosper in life. My drive is never ending. This is literally a stepping stone that must be stepped in order for me to attain the success the my sight is set on. I am really starting to get a handle on things. I love it. If y0u don't know what I am talking about, I became a supervisor at work. For me a long time coming, but never too late. I feel that I am equiped with the knowledge and support to triumph. Well work is a continueous cycle of the never ending, and I can spend so much time elaborating my days of, well work. But I will not. I refuse to. I'm done for the day, gave my 8hrs (8 hrs and 33min) but who's really counting. lol. Well other than that, personal life. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Well for some reason my personal life seems as though it is at a stand still, a hault. I swear I want so much in life. So much, but with this I just don't know where to go, what to do. What comes of it. For once, I don't know. I'm a person that don't like surprises. I like schedules, agendas, and most importantly. . . purpose. I don't know where this will end up, I hope it'll end in old age, but being logical of the matter who knows. I currently find myself in a strange relationship. One full of love. But for some reason, a lot of missunderstanding. I know what I want in life. I know what life wants out of me. I hate sacraficing, but have no problem doing it. I even do it with a smile. I don't know. I really don't have nothing bad to say about my relationship. We'll just have to stay tuned and see what happens. Because I myself don't know. I myself am in the shadow as far as the longetivity of this stint. But i'll keep at it as long as it's here. I'm not a quiter. A fighter for what I want, I am. One full of passion, little regret, full of love, compassion, and drive. One who strives, like the Great King Solomon, strives for wisdom. You know, everytime I pray, I always ask for wisdom. . . . and understaning. You know I always say that wisdom and understanding are lifes greatest gifts. Well I should say Gods greatest gifts. I believe in my heart that once wisdom and understanding is attained, all else will follow. It has to. It seems damn near inevitable. I don't know for some reason. I really am dissatisfied with my personal life. I really am. I feel that I am wasting time. Precious time. Time that can be focused else where. Why do I allow myself to stay in my situation. In a general sense. Nothing geared at anyone nor anything. Just in a general sense. Just thinking about my dissatisfaction makes me want to go throw up. . . . . seriously. I feel sick, disgusted, and beside myself. At a lost for words, thought, and game plan. BRB. . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm back. I grabbed me a nice ice cold brewskie. The good ol' medicine. ( I'm just kidding about medicine. . . . you don't ever feel better). I guess I really can't be sobby about anything. I'm still here right. . . . . lol. Well if you do, pray for me.

Wowwww

2008-04-28T22:16:00.003-07:00

Wowww, is all that can be said. It has been such a long while since I came here and express to you what's really going on, well as I perceive it. Well you'd be surprised to know that I actually have a baby you going on in my PDA. I'm thinking that I want to download them posts onto this. That'll definatly be something. But until I decide to do that, this is what's for now.
. . . . . . . . .
I am gonna have to pause, I'm watching Flavor of Love 2. . .

Wowwww

2008-04-28T22:16:00.001-07:00

Wowww, is all that can be said.

2007-12-05T11:57:00.000-08:00

Well that's was that. . . . Mi Ama's gone. She drifted awayin to her sunset.

I find myself in washington. I got here
12/03/07. I was but a block n half away from the hospital when I got the phone call, "Chava, sh'es gone." I didn't make it. A moment shorter. If I just could've hurried. But I no guilt, regrets. Anything. Not even mi ama. My tia told me that she told mi ama that me that she told mmi ama, " Ama, chava and saul are here w/ the kids." And that she let her last tear go before took her last gasp of life on this earth.

I'm in so much despair. Disbelief. I almost want to be selfish and wish she were here. But I know that it won't make things better. She suffered enough. She was ready. I just can't believe. She's really gone. My heart hurts lke never before I'm so choked up right now. My dad put a recording of her signing and I just lost it. I can't help the way I feel. I know I need to be strong for my family.

.:: ama, como te extraño. Quiero que sepas, que tu siempre estaras conmigo, handando por las sendas de esta vida. Quiero besar tu cara. Labar tus pies. Tratarte como la rena que eres. ¿Que tan grande es tu corona? Intercede por mi. Te quiero socorrito. Yo pronto te veo. Y pudemos star juntos alabando nuestro padre quien nos dio la oportunidad de estar juntos un tiempo en esta tierra. Estaba escuchanto tu linda voz horita con mi pa. Me haces que mi corazon sonrie. Te quiro ama, y ya casi te extraño mas. Hay como digo ama. I love you ans that'll navr change. Even though your gone, you still never cease to fascinate me::.

2007-11-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

well here I am again. haha the funniest situation I find myself in. At the current moment I am at a laundry mat. yes haha a laundry mat. What can I say. I needed to wash clothes and it had an advertisement saying "free wi-fi". im a buster from free wi-fi. lol. Kill two birds with one stone.So what tofree v say about the moment. It is a very new experience for me . I nice one. My clothes have about 13min left, all of them and Im blooging. I could've went to starbucks,or peter piper pizza, and get free wifi. But no I wanted to come to the laundry mat. haha. Im in near disbelief how chill I'm feeling right now. There is this gil just won't stop looking at me. I don't think that it is because Im cute or anything. I think that she is in disbelief herself. Who the heck would be at a laundry mat on the net. I swear I'm here in damn near fetal position indulging on the great connection I am getting here. Who would've known. lol. this is too funny . Well this is all I at the moment have to say. I have to go and change the loads out. HAHA<

You got me this time

2007-11-19T19:53:00.000-08:00

This is me, my spot, my thoughts. The place I shall convey what seems like a wave. What will be said, I really can't say. It's just me being me, but alas, I cannot stay. . . There is me trying to conjugate an deep meaningful introduction, but only makes you think, "Good thing this blog is free!" I wish I had done this sooner, not because this is the new fad. The new cool thing Sara and Jessica were talking about at the mall. ( I don't know who Sara or Jessica are, I swear) Mainly because I'm now in a really shitty mood. Not the kind that makes you be mean, more so like the kind that makes you be reflective, sad, and nearly regretful. Mi Ama's, my grandma, sick.

Though this is one of many roads I'm familiar with, this to me marks the moment of the beginning of the reality of the dreadful a thought. My maternal grandmother passed already, I miss her dearly. I miss her more for my mom, I miss the joy my grandmother brought my mom. A very strong, admirable, noble one she was. But me Ama Coco ( Socorro), Oh mi ama coco.

I was born in Yakima, WA. Hey even though you may of never heard of it, it exists. It even has a -in between small and medium size- dot on the map. I'm a 1986 baby. Well baby then, and feeling pretty baby now. I grew with my dad's side of the family. Other places, and other people were just mere memories. I had no comprehension that Phoenix really existed. Just me, my family, and Wapato (Where we lived, 6mi away from Yakima).

It is at this point I learn of Ama. . . "Mi Ama Coco". You call her "Mi Ama" as an expression of endearment expressing she yours, no one elses. Only yours. And trust me, that's exactly how she makes me feel. She's so interested. Fond. Proud. I mean all that for not turning out what was stereotypically said. Well for the most part. But she is. She is very proud. Oh yeah, you know I have to throw in loving. I love it when she calls me mijo, it just means so much more. And when she plays piojito with my hair. She has strong fingernails, every woman's probably 4th most desire. .:piojito, piojito::.

You know, some one once asked me, " What is your best memory of her?" I sat for a hot minute. Thinking . . . Man so many memories went rushing to the exact point in my brain where my comprehension and the information transacted to conceive an answer. I closed my eyes and seen her eyes. I had it.! My best memory of Mi Ama, and I began, " Her eyes. Her eyes assure me it's her, you can see her through them. And she hides nothing behind them. Very stubborn, yet a humble woman. Looking into them you can tell what she feels. Very out, raw, true feeling. Just Real." .::sigh::.

I have very vivid memories of us. Chill en, singing. She was even my supervisor. (When I was 12 I used to help out at my Tia Mari's Screen print and Clothing store -Wapato Sports Wear- during the summer. No Nordstrom, but it was cute. But yeah she was " La Jefita" for a moment). That was cute too. She would make me go get her salad, or "soup of the day". A bossy one she was. But endearing, she would get me something too.

Yea during the summer when I visited. I'm a statistic, they separated in '91. It's cool though, I'm the fortunate one with 4 parents. And blessed with five siblings. Yasmin, Jesus, Saul, Vicky, and Emmanuel. Thank you all who contributed to the -Sal party of six- blessing.

At any rate. . . . (back to putting the raw emotion to the forefront)

Things are ok. As aforementioned earlier to someone, I understand. Sad but I understand. I can pray for the best and not be selfish.

Now 2007, I now know Phoenix. . .It does exist. It's not just mere words and fond memories. It is a place. A hot as hell place I've been calling home since '91. I'm away from Mi Ama during this time of hardship .:: Ama aqui estoy, contigo. El senor sabe tus deseos. Que el nos da la fortaleza a seguir adelante. Si El es quien nos guia, y nos ase sabios ha comprender su plan. Ama como hay cosas que te quiera decir pero es sufficiente en decdirte que te amo, y te quiero por todo tu abundancia de amor que me das. Aunque yo estoy aca en Phoenix, en EL estamos juntos. Cuidate Soccorrito, que no falte tu fe::. God how I love her.

I hate the way that sorrow and grief in this time of despair takes on a pyramid form. It affects those closest to her. That hurts me so much because I can only imagine how my dad is feeling if I'm having a hard time keeping it together. I wish I can be there with him in WA. Just to hug him and let him know that I'm here for him. He must be crushed. What a bummer.

You know, It's okay to grieve the moment . It's very cleansing for the soul. You gotta let the eye run damn near dry sometimes. Very humbling. Well at least for me. ( "I won't tell you how to live, rather, how I live" -Sal, just now.)

I feel I have done enough soul cleansing for the night, the rest is in God's hands. Why won't you send him up a little something for my Socorrito. I'd appreciate that, and so will she.
Ama, te quiro un chingo.

I open you up to me. The Archives of Sal. Here you will be delighted to encounter me being me!!! How else can you get it done.